Why Being ‘Soft’ Made Me Stronger
How Choosing Heart Over Ego Changed My Life
Redefining Strength in a Tough World
Elon Musk once said that empathy is a weakness. And honestly, that hit a nerve with me. Not because I’m trying to argue with a billionaire genius, but because I believe he’s got it backwards. In a world full of competition, judgment, and division, choosing empathy is one of the hardest and most powerful things a person can do.
I’ve been called soft more times than I can count—mostly by people who didn’t understand that the strongest people aren’t the ones who never feel, but the ones who feel everything and still choose to act with kindness. In fact, I’ve learned over the years that avoiding conflict doesn’t make me weak—it takes more strength to walk away than to swing back. I hate confrontation. Always have. But even when people mistake my quiet nature or restraint for weakness, I stick to who I am. I choose peace over chaos, understanding over shouting, and connection over pride.
Compassion Over Conformity
I have never been what you would consider a good-looking person by most standards, but I was lucky. I was good at sports and always had the ability to make people laugh. That combo meant I had friends, even though I didn’t necessarily fit the mold of what you’d expect from someone in the popular crowd. But even with that social acceptance, I never looked down on the kids who weren’t as fortunate. I always had a soft spot for them. I treated them just like I would anyone else, because I never saw them as less than.
I was also good at fighting—something people praised and admired in my younger days. They called me tough, thought I was cool, and I won’t lie, it felt good back then. Fist fighting always came easy to me. But over time, I started to realize that true strength wasn’t in throwing punches—it was in standing up for others without resorting to violence. It was in walking away from conflict, not diving into it. And let me tell you, that took way more courage.
Peer pressure pushed me in certain ways. I let myself get dragged into fights or confrontations that I could’ve stopped before they even started. Looking back, I wish I had been more of a man back then—strong enough to squash conflicts instead of feeding into them. But I’ve learned. Growth isn’t about never making mistakes—it’s about owning them and evolving past them.
That mindset followed me into adulthood. I didn’t grow out of caring—I grew into it. I’ve always felt a natural pull to help those who are struggling, whether it’s someone dealing with addiction, mental health issues, or just the everyday grind that beats people down. I don’t look at people’s status or circumstances—I just see people who need a hand. And if I can offer that, I do. Not for credit. Not to feel better about myself. But because it’s who I am.
Slowing Down to Do the Right Thing
That instinct to look out for the underdog—people and animals—followed me everywhere, even into the smallest moments.
I remember working as a gutter installer years ago, and I would slow down just to help a trapped animal or even an insect in distress. My boss used to give me funny looks, but I didn’t care. That little creature mattered to me in that moment. It might sound ridiculous to some, but to me, it was just part of being human.
And it wasn’t just animals. I’ve always made time to listen to people who were going through tough times. Whether it was a friend, a stranger, or even someone I barely knew, I tried to offer advice, or at the very least, a listening ear. Not because I had all the answers, but because I knew what it felt like to be alone with your problems.
The Weight of Caring
Caring isn’t easy. It’s heavy. It’s worrying about your family constantly, even when things are fine on the surface. It’s staying up late wondering how you can do more, be better, and help others do the same. Maybe that’s why I had gray hair at 16—too much heart packed into a young body. But I wouldn’t trade that for the world.
I dreamt about helping people my whole life. Whether it was rescuing someone in danger or just being there for someone who needed to talk, I always imagined myself stepping up when it mattered. I don’t need recognition or rewards—just the feeling that I made someone’s day a little bit better.
I’ve imagined being the person who runs into a burning building, or talks someone off the edge, or just makes a kid’s day by noticing them when no one else does. I think about those things often—not because I want to be a hero, but because I want to be useful. I want to be a light in someone’s darkest moment.
A Tire Change and a Deeper Truth
Empathy doesn’t wait for perfect timing. It shows up in the quiet, inconvenient moments—when no one’s watching and you’ve got every reason to keep driving.
One night (or morning, I should say), around 3 a.m., I saw three Black men stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire. No lights. No help. Just stranded in the dark while car after car sped past without stopping. I didn’t hesitate—I pulled over and helped them change it. Afterward, they told me how dozens of cars had passed them by. No one would stop. They figured people were scared.
That moment stuck with me. Not because I did anything heroic, but because it reminded me of the walls people build out of fear, assumptions, and division. Empathy breaks those walls down. It says, “I see you. I don’t care what you look like, what you believe, or where you’re from—you’re a person, and I care.”
The Social Media Trap
Empathy is under attack more than ever these days. Social media, while powerful in its reach, has made it easier to judge, mock, and dismiss people without ever hearing their story. You scroll through your feed and see someone struggling, and instead of support, they’re often met with sarcasm or blame. We’ve become desensitized. Likes and shares have replaced actual conversations. Memes replace meaningful dialogue.
It’s harder to show empathy in a world where everything is a performance. Online, everyone wants to win the argument, look tough, or be the loudest voice in the room. But real life doesn’t work like that. Real life is messy. It’s quiet moments, tough decisions, and choosing to listen even when you don’t agree.
Empathy takes time. It takes patience. And that’s something social media rarely encourages. But that’s why it’s so important. In a world that’s quick to cancel, criticize, and categorize, being empathetic is a radical act. It’s standing in the storm and saying, “I still believe in people.”
Empathy is the Real Flex
People like to talk about toughness. But being tough isn’t about how loud you are or how hard you can hit. Real toughness is caring when it’s easier not to. It’s choosing to help even when you don’t have to. It’s loving people, animals, strangers, and the world around you when it feels like the world forgot how to love back.
So no, empathy isn’t weakness. It’s the superpower that just might save us all. It’s what keeps me up at night and what pushes me forward each morning. It’s what guides my decisions, my parenting, my friendships, and my work. It’s what fuels this blog, and it’s what I hope will inspire others to see that the world doesn’t need less empathy—it needs a hell of a lot more.
If you’ve ever been told you’re too sensitive, too soft, or too emotional, I want you to know this: those aren’t flaws. They’re signs that your heart still works in a world trying to shut it down. And that, my friend, is your strength.
So let’s wear our empathy proudly. Let’s build something better, one act of kindness at a time.
How to Use Empathy as Your Everyday Superpower
Empathy isn’t just a feeling—it’s a choice. A skill. A strength you can build and flex like a muscle. Here are a few simple but powerful ways you can use empathy to make a difference every single day:
1. Pause Before You React
When someone says something hurtful, confusing, or frustrating—pause. Ask yourself, “What might they be going through that I can’t see?” Responding with curiosity instead of anger shifts the whole dynamic.
2. Listen Without Fixing
You don’t always have to solve someone’s problem. Sometimes, just listening—really listening—without judgment or advice is enough to make someone feel seen.
3. Speak Up for Others
If you see someone being mistreated or left out, say something. Even a small “Hey, that’s not cool” can mean the world to the person on the receiving end.
4. Give the Benefit of the Doubt
Not everyone shows their pain on the outside. That rude driver, the snappy coworker, or the quiet kid in class? They might be carrying more than you know. Lead with grace.
5. Be Kind When It’s Inconvenient
True empathy shows up when it’s not easy. Help someone even when you’re in a rush. Forgive someone even when you’re still hurting. Choose compassion when you could choose distance.
6. Ask Questions Instead of Making Assumptions
Instead of labeling people or judging them, ask about their story. Everyone has one—and you’d be amazed what people will share if they feel safe to do so.
7. Make Big Decisions with Empathy
Whether it’s in parenting, leadership, relationships, or conflict—ask yourself, “How can I make this decision from a place of understanding, not fear or ego?”
You don’t need to be perfect to be empathetic. You just have to care enough to try. Start small. Start today. In a world full of noise and chaos, choosing empathy might not always be the easiest path—but it’s the one that leads to real connection, real change, and real strength.
Let’s keep showing up for people. Let’s keep being the quiet warriors who believe in love over pride, understanding over judgment, and people over performance.
Because empathy doesn’t make you soft. It makes you unstoppable.
Empathy made me stronger than any fight I ever won.
Let’s Build Something Real, Together
If this message hit home for you—if you’ve ever felt “too soft” in a world that demands toughness—I’d love to hear your story. Drop a comment below or share this with someone who needs a reminder that empathy is power, not weakness.
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